This home in Los Osos, California is a case of rich people not knowing what kind of decor they want. Zillow calls it a “Mediterranean Castle.” Whatever. It’s $2.9M and is a study in ostentation. You’ll love it.
Firstly, I wouldn’t want to climb all these steps to get into a house, no matter how they’re illuminated.
This is outrageous. Who intentionally builds a house w/stairs like this? Where’s the mailbox?
Anyway, let’s imagine that we climbed up to the front door, I’m needing oxygen, and we’re hitting the intercom button on the right. (My house had that same intercom and it was so dated, people made fun of it.)
As soon as we enter the foyer, we can see how confused they are. There’s a big medieval soldier with a serene Zen motif, neither of which is Mediterranean.
Notice the tile work, the columns (still no Mediterranean) and the bright red carpet.
I’m so confused. The fireplace has gryphons and I thought it was Egyptian, but it’s painted bright red. I give up w/this house, already.
Persian rug, Italian or French statue.
The Buddha and a Chinese dragon, plus a statue on a Greek column that bears a resemblance to Puss in Boots. Also, more stairs just to get up to the kitchen.
The backsplash isn’t Mediterranean, or is it? I’m so confused.
The dining room. This decor is a League of Nations style.
Now, they tell me there’s an elevator.
Going down more stairs, we pass by some kind of a balcony.
And, out to a very Zen meditation room.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen a hot tub w/so many jets. I’m afraid of it.
Here’s a bathroom- is that a horse in a coral in the ceiling light?
Look at the closet doors. Are those posters?
Family room, maybe?
This is the balcony we saw before. There’s a French tapestry.
So, this would be the main bd.
And, the en suite.
Looks like a home office.
And, a shower.
Another office? Look at this fireplace. I can’t even.
Well, right about now in the tour, I feel like I need a drink.
WTH is this?
Wine room? With a stage?
Maybe a guest room.
A studio?
I guess the rough terrain doesn’t allow for a yard, so there’s a deck. I hate this house.
Thinking about how Henry Creel was taken to the Lab when he was 12 and how he spent his teen and adult life there until Eleven yeeted his ass to the Upside Down. Which means technically his mental capacity is of a 12-year-old boy, if he returns to the outside world that isn’t the Lab or the Upside Down.
“We could reshape the world together” babe, the last time you were out there was when you were 12. You can’t drive. You haven’t even finished seventh grade hello???😭😭😭
The best part is the fact that out of the two of them Martha Stewart was the one who went to prison.
Wait…what?
Wiiiiild. He did commit murder (in self defense - no judging) and America‘s Best Housewife was sent to jail because of insider trading, securities fraud, obstruction of justice and conspiracy. This is wiiiiiild 😄😄😄
also he has every right to make fun of kanye west considering snoop has had a successful career for about two decades including his own cookbook and appearing in movies whereas kanye is a flat earther who had to crowdfund another album because he ran out of money despite kim kardashian being with him, not having the money to produce another album should be the metric when you know you can tell a musician has failed somewhere in either money management or actually being a musician rather then a famous trainwreck
snoop dogg is a good man who loves cooking, nature, and supporting the dreams of young children in poverty. kanye west helped get trump elected.
seriously though check out his cookbook its beautiful
and filled with lgiht humor, legit cooking, and charming life stories
Whenever I think about snoop I remember that episode of cribs where he lived in an unusually modest house compared to everyone else on that show, spent the entire time with his young daughter hugging onto his leg and dragging her around as he walked. He even talked about how he didn’t want his kids to be musicians and that he just wants them to have a chance at a normal life / he doesn’t wish music career drama on anyone
The dude is mega down to earth for having a networth of 135 million dollars and staying relevant for longer than some of the top charting musicians have been alive
he says he keeps a supply of poptarts in the house for his nieces/nephews and grandkids but admits theyre really for him and then goes on to discuss what selection of condiments your fridge should have to jazz up leftover takeout
hes one of the most thoroughly human humans ive ever known of
Doesn’t he also coach football for kids, and stops smoking during the season to set a good example for the kids?
all these people going on about how Hozier is the peak representation of musical soft masculinity when Snoop has been out here rocking the smoothest braids and most hype manicures for decades
Have you seen his Planet Earth voiceover video? It’s the best thing I’ve ever heard. Man knows nothing about otters
Plizzanet Earth is a joy. Here’s the playlist:
Why has no one ever told me about Plizzanet Earth oh my god
Snoop is legit; don’t come for him.
He also did an episode of Storybots and my kids adore the computer man. Which is wild to me. Cuz I remember gangster rap Snoop. And we love and support Snoop in this house.
Love him, great man
plizzanetearth
Hozier is the peak of good white masculinity. Snoop is the peak of good Black masculinity, and on top of what Hozier does, Snoop adds something a lot of Black children never get to see—you can be a man, you can have “cred,” you can be cool, and also know how to make cookies. (Hozier is great, but he’s never been cool a day in his life and he freely admits this. The two of them have very different kinds of good masculinity both culturally and personally.)
There’s this idea—and the tweet opening this thread exemplifies it—that being “gangsta” means being self-absorbed, materialistic, and violent. Snoop is just like “nah, I have bling and street talk and I’m higher than a kite and also I love my kids and cooking and FUCK your toxic masculinity,” and that’s an important message. You can have the look, if you like the look, but you don’t have to be a stereotype to have the look.
“You can have the look, if you like the look, but you don’t have to be a stereotype to have the look.”
so mad that our takeaway from the mask thing hasn’t been “wait, so we could have been getting like 80% fewer colds and viruses this entire time?”
We really just accepted that “yeah, every several months we just feel like shit and do nothing but lay in bed for a week while so much snot pours out of our face holes that we have to keep 27 wads of tissue within arm’s reach” even though the solution was not only simple and easy but also offered infinite possibilities for fashionable accessorizing. I hate it here
i’m never going to stop wearing a mask in the winter time because 1) colds and flu, obviously 2) my lips don’t get chapped and bleed in the winter anymore. This is revolutionary. 3) it’s actually just common sense to wear a badass goth wolf skull mask in your day to day life??
now I can wear whatever clothes I want and people will still know I’m cool and goth
“oh no everyone not getting the flu for two years is going to make people’s immune systems weak and flu season will be worse!”
1) that’s not how the immune system works. 2) masking killed some strains of the flu because there was no one to pass it on to. we have the ability to MAKE VIRUSES EXTINCT with masks but oh noooo we have to worry about a piece of fabric on our faces. spare me.
I am never giving up masks. I haven’t been sick since February 2020. Why the hell did I let myself breath everyone else’s gross air for all these years.
They also filter out pollen in the spring! Maybe not all of it, but enough that I noticed a stark difference between the days the park was empty and I hardly wore a mask at all and the days when it was full and I had my mask on for my whole walk. Visiting a friend but they have a cat and you’re allergic? Wear a mask! Again, not foolproof because you’ll still have dander on your clothes, but it won’t just be floating into your nose with every breath!
